We first met in the Philippines in 2008. Our shared passion and growing love for each other convinced us that we were meant to journey through life together.
We spoke to our parents and friends about our relationship. In December 2011, I traveled to Thailand to personally discuss our plans to marry with Nittie’s parents and relatives. The conversations went well.
In October 2012, Nittie visited the Philippines, where I introduced her to my family and friends. With our parents' consent, we decided to schedule our Thai wedding for March 22, 2013, and our second wedding ceremony for April 8, 2013, in Hatyai City, Thailand.
Initially, we wanted only one wedding ceremony due to our limited resources. However, I considered that my wife is Thai, and her parents and community have cultural traditions that differ from mine. A Thai wedding is an important cultural celebration, especially since she is the only daughter.
Therefore, we decided to hold the Thai wedding to honor her family, relatives, and community. By doing so, we hoped to bridge our cultures and show respect for Thai traditions.
Our Thai Wedding with Traditional Thai Dress, March 22, 2013 |
The dowry was an integral part of the ceremony. This tradition, long practiced in Thailand, involves giving money and gold to the bride's family, reflecting their status in the community. According to tradition, the dowry signifies the groom's readiness to start a family and shows respect for the bride's family.
Initially, I struggled to understand the practice of giving a dowry. I viewed it as outdated and felt I lacked the necessary resources. However, I placed my trust in God, and ultimately, everything worked out well.
Upon reflection, I delved deeper into the historical and scriptural significance of the dowry tradition. I sought answers to my questions about its purpose and value.
Here’s what I discovered:
In Hebrew marriages, the dowry played a crucial role. It was part of the betrothal or marriage covenant. The following scriptures highlight the importance of the dowry in historical and biblical contexts:
- Genesis 24:22: “When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a fifth of an ounce and two gold bracelets weighing four ounces.”
- Genesis 24:53: “The servant took out gold and silver jewelry and clothes and gave them to Rebekah. He also gave expensive presents to her brother and mother.”
- Genesis 29:18: “Jacob loved Rachel. So he offered, ‘I'll work seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.’”
- Genesis 34:12: “Set the price I must pay for the bride and the gift I must give her as high as you want. I'll pay exactly what you tell me. Give me the girl as my wife.”
- Exodus 22:17: “If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must pay an amount of money equal to the bride price for virgins.”
- 1 Samuel 18:25: “Saul replied, ‘Tell David, ‘The king doesn’t want any payment for the bride except 100 Philistine foreskins so that he can get revenge on his enemies.’” This was Saul’s way of ensuring David’s commitment.
The Apostle Paul expressed a similar adaptability in his approach:
- 1 Corinthians 9:19: “Although I am free from all people, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.”
- 1 Corinthians 9:20: “To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.”
- 1 Corinthians 9:21: “To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law.”
- 1 Corinthians 9:22: “To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”
- 1 Corinthians 9:23: “I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”
From these passages, it is clear that the dowry was a well-established tradition recorded in scripture. Jacob was willing to work for seven years to marry Rachel, demonstrating his dedication. Similarly, David had to prove his readiness by meeting a challenging demand set by Saul.
The Geneva Translation of Scripture highlights Paul’s adaptability: “I accommodated all customs and manners that by all means, I might help some.” Paul adjusted to new cultures rather than imposing his own, reflecting a deep commitment to the gospel and to understanding others.
What About Nowadays?
The practice of giving a dowry is still observed in some cultures. However, due to ongoing societal changes and the influence of Western popular culture, this tradition is gradually fading.
I’m not suggesting that other wedding practices are wrong. That’s not my point. There is no absolute right or wrong in cultural practices, as long as they uphold respect, love, and dignity.
My point is that we should strive to preserve our cultural traditions because they are gifts from our Abba. At the same time, we must find ways to contextualize and honor these traditions in a manner that reflects the glory of our Father in Heaven. These traditions define who we are, shaping our identity, uniqueness, and heritage. Respecting the core values of our heritage while adapting them to contemporary practices allows us to preserve our cultural legacy. By blending traditional values with modern contexts, we not only maintain our heritage but also strengthen our connection with the evolving world around us.
In Conclusion:
My advice to young people planning to marry someone from a different culture is to honor and respect their cultural traditions. If you truly love your partner, you should be willing to embrace and support their cultural practices.
Regarding the dowry amount, I personally believe that if it is within the Father's will, He will provide for all your needs. It may not be easy, as I have experienced, but our Father is good, and nothing is impossible for Him (Philippines 4:19).
A snapshot of our Thai wedding where I should hand an envelope with money to each gatekeeper. |
Part of the program was the giving of my dowry to the parents of my wife. |
Part of the wedding program to choose one of the items to predict the future of our family. |
My beautiful bride Nittie with our Thai Wedding Dress |
How Wedding Looks Like in Thailand
Not Too Late, Honeymoon, Trip to Koh Lipe, Satun
What Young Fathers Must Know?
2 comments:
You are so kind, nice and humble. THANKS for your respect to our culture. Believe that you can take a good care of my beloved friend. See you soon bro!
You are welcome Jet, i am looking for your time too. Blessings!
Post a Comment